Babyhood

On Saturday morning I attended the parent-teacher meeting for the Grande Section and managed to find out a lot more about Kevin’s school day from his teacher Geneviève. She, like Mme Jacqueline, has pointed out to me that Kevin is still having difficulty in holding pencils and crayons for writing and drawing and that we must try to correct the faults (i.e. he doesn’t keep his hand and arm on the desk and he has an incredibly weak grip, and barely makes a mark on the paper with coloured pencils).

She says we have to act now, or it will be too difficult to fix later on. The trouble is, he just will not co-operate and every “homework” session we try ends in shouting and tears. He cries and says he can’t do it, and keeps changing the subject, even refuses to look at the paper or the book in front of him! It’s incredibly frustrating, and I would rather just let it slide, like I did all last year, despite Mme Jacqueline’s warnings. But he’ll have to know how to write properly when he goes to primary school and I don’t want him to be at more of a disadvantage than he already is. It’s so difficult to know what to do.

P.'s parents arrived on Wednesday morning. I had rushed around cleaning the house, baked an apple tart and prepared Cabbage Creole from my old NZ vegetarian book, and basmati rice for lunch. Méemée bought lovely veal from her butcher to eat with that. Afterwards they entertained the children while I went out shopping and saw the doctor to stock up on hayfever pills. Dr L. is a rugby fanatic and he assured me NZ are going to win the semi-final against France on Sunday because France has always lost to NZ in odd-numbered years!

We ate fresh mussels for dinner and they were really delicious. Unfortunately Pauline must have eaten too many, or had a bad one, because she woke up crying at midnight in a puddle of cold vomit. We cleaned her up and changed the bed (Kevin snored on through all this activity). I swathed the sofa in towels and stayed with her for the next three hours while she dozed and vomited three more times. When she seemed empty I put her back to bed and managed a couple of hours sleep until 6 am when Kevin got up.

At seven o’clock the phone rang, it was friend Malorie, very upset and asking for help. She had driven Patrick to Fontainebleau for his training course and her car broke down. Baby Fabien was starting to cry for his bottle but she hadn’t brought one with her, so the situation was rather dramatic! I woke everybody up and left instructions for getting Pauline bathed and Kevin to school, then jumped in the car and drove to Fontainebleau. I didn’t even need to change as I had slept in jeans and sweatshirt after Pauline puked on my two pairs of winter pajamas.

Poor Malorie was white and shaking, so I drove her straight home to Marolles. She had had the presence of mind to leave a note on her windscreen explaining the car wouldn’t start, and even put enough money in the parking meter to last till next morning! An hour and a half later I was back home having breakfast when she rang again saying the car had been towed to a repair shop but she needed to get back to Fontainebleau to give them the keys. I asked her to give me 15 minutes to have a shower and wash Pauline’s vomit out of my hair!

The to-ing and fro-ing took up all morning and of course I couldn’t have done it without Méemée and Pépé there to look after Pauline and make the lunch. They left again in the afternoon and I tried to get P. to have a nap as we were both exhausted, but she just wouldn’t sleep. However she slept really well that night and was completely well by Friday morning. So I took her to school because it was the last day and I didn’t want her to miss the Halloween party. The children had made very cute little witch costumes, but unfortunately I forgot to take the camera. Malorie rang again to say her car was fixed, so I picked her up and drove her to F’bleau for, I hope, the last time!

Anne-Noëlle and I went to pick vegetables at the Jardin de Noisy on Friday morning. Baby Damien slept the whole time in his carry-car seat, so she said she should have brought the pram!

We got some lovely red apples, carrots, onions, turnips and a celeriac (big round root vegetable), which I made into a purée with a bit of potato. Also, two little acorn squashes which I baked in the oven for P. and myself. The children said it was yucky, despite having never eaten it in their lives, and absolutely refused to taste it.

We recently had a nice outing to Nénuphar, the children’s book and toy shop in Fontainebleau where a professional story-teller comes once a month. We had arranged to meet Sarah, Nina and Flynn too. It was the first time Pauline had been and all the children really enjoyed it, especially as the story-teller encourages them to participate with appropriate noises and sound effects. We would have liked to have had lunch together afterwards, but it was too wet and cold for a picnic and both Sarah and I were too broke to buy lunch , so we all went home. Also I was very tired, after another bad night with Pauline getting up. She’s been getting up about every second night.

Next day I had my 3 hour walk with Patricia and dog Zoltan and we went for miles, our legs were really well stretched. I’d had a good sleep, so was looking forward to Women’s Group in the evening. Imagine my disappointment when I arrived at Kathleen’s house to find her bathing her children and discovered that they had changed the meeting day back to Wednesday, so I’d missed it. I had left the previous session early and no-one thought to tell me of the change in plans. I was cross, but went home and watched a good film (Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet) and had an early night.

On Saturday morning I took Kevin for a bike ride to the Petit Chemin. Pauline didn’t want to come but preferred to stay home with Daddy. We picked a huge bag of lovely apples from the abandoned garden. In the afternoon I took them shopping at Fontainebleau because I’d heard that some shops were giving away free tickets for a ride on a steam train running between our village, Fontainebleau and Paris to celebrate Fontainebleau station’s 150 year anniversary. Well the train was running alright, but nobody was giving away free tickets! It’s a shame, I’d planned to take photos of the children on the train and send them to Grandpa. Still, it was a good outing and I took them to the Casino cafeteria for goûter, so they enjoyed an ice-cream and a play.

It rained on Sunday morning so we didn’t go on the weekly Short Legs Hike. In the afternoon Kevin and I went to feed the ducks on the Loing. Walking home he asked me “What was my name when I was a baby?” . I said “Kevin Robert C. ” and he said “What was your name when you were a baby?”, then “What was your mummy’s name when she was a baby?” It stopped there!

Monday was supposed to be a nice, relaxing day because P. was on a two-day training course and so wouldn’t be home for lunch. However, Malorie rang and invited me over for coffee to see the baby, so I rushed to the shops to buy some ingredients and made her a chicken and courgette casserole, mashed potatoes and a grape, yoghurt, cream and caramel dessert as a present. After feeding the kids and taking them back to school I had just an hour to stay at Malorie’s. Little Fabien was very clever, he woke up just as I arrived and I was able to give him his bottle. He’s gorgeous, and although small, he doesn’t look premature or ill in anyway, has perfectly developed features and lots of energy in his wee kicking legs. It was lovely to hold such a tiny baby, without being nagged for cartoons on tv, sweets, or having to tell him to stop hitting his sister!

Patricia wasn’t available for our dog walk on Tuesday morning so I took my bike out and rode alongside the river towards Veneux and Thomery for an hour. It was a new route for me, and the weather was lovely and sunny. There are some beautiful riverside houses and mansions there and all the trees are turning orange and yellow now, so it was spectacular. Was saddle sore the next day though!

Last week when out walking with Patricia and her big hairy dog, we had three surprises of a zoological kind. Firstly the dog ran off into a field and started barking and threatening a small furry animal. When we got close enough we could see it was a beaver! The poor creature got thrown about a bit before Patricia pulled the dog off, but we could see it had huge, red-stained teeth (from gnawing on mahogany perhaps?!), so it could have given the dog a very nasty bite.

We continued along the path and I nearly stepped on a bright red object, and gasped when I saw it was a live écrevisse', or fresh-water prawn! It was quite small and the poor thing was nearly bent over backwards like a scorpion, in an attempt to scare me off. We were quite far from the nearest lake, so we were amazed it had apparently walked such a distance. Or perhaps a bird had fished it our of the lake and then dropped it while flying off.

About 10 minutes later we came across a second écrevisse', so we said that if we saw anymore we would regret not having collected them for lunch! The funny thing was that the stupid dog didn’t hesitate to attack the beaver despite those frightening teeth, and yet he wouldn’t go near the little prawns.

On Wednesday we went shopping at Carrefour, where all the shops are again gearing up for Hallowe'en. It’s only the second year it has been so commercialised in France. The teachers at kindergarten are already preparing little costumes for all the children. The hypermarket had the most wonderful display of pumpkins, several different varieties, including butternuts from New Zealand!

On Wednesday we were invited to go for goûter at Nathalie's, but as her leg is still in a brace and she is in a lot of pain from her physiotherapy sessions (four per week), I offered to do some baking. I made some biscuit dough and let the children cut out animal shapes, stars, hearts, etc., which they greatly enjoyed. I also baked some scones for the mums and we ate them with Nat’s home-made Mirabelle jam, which was lovely. She too had black circles under her eyes, with both Emma and Gabriel keeping her awake the previous night, so we comiserated and managed to cheer each other up.

The day was cold but sunny so the big boys ran around their lovely garden most of the time. I was amazed at how Kevin and Arnaud played and chatted together like old friends, yet they don’t really know each other that well, as Nat and I usually see each other when they are at school. Arnaud has an impressive collection of toy guns, spears, and shields, so they spent a pleasant afternoon shooting and stabbing each other.

Pauline was happier inside with a box of baby toys. She found a toy stethoscope and played doctor, listening to my heart-beat (in my belly?) at frequent intervals.

On Sunday morning I took Kevin on the Short Legs Hike, which was the first we’ve done since last spring. On the way to Fontainebleau in the car he was very chatty and we had our first ever metaphysical discussion! The neighbours’ rabbit Puschi died recently and Kevin started asking me why he died and where he has gone. I explained that he died because he was very old and had come to the end of his life. I said he had gone to sleep forever and was probably in the sky where it is very nice (!). Kevin then wanted to know if he can go there one day and see him again!

The hike was a good two-hour leg stretcher and the sun came out at long last. We collected little pine cones and acorns with their hats on. We’ve washed the sand off them and will paint them gold to use as Christmas decorations. In the afternoon we did some gardening, raked up the first autumn leaves. Sadly my spinach has failed to germinate, I think all the seeds drowned during the three weeks of incessant rain.

Later I took the children to the playground where there were some big boys playing with a football. To my surprise, Kevin and Pauline tried to join in, shrieking with laughter, and the teenagers very kindly tolerated them - probably because they thought I was watching carefully! I was in fact sneakily reading a book, as usual (‘No Name’, by Wilkie Collins, published in 1903!). Then the boys gave them a broken cassette tape to play with, so they ran around the playground for half an hour, pulling out the tape and making wonderful loops and knots with it. A great day!

The temperature has dropped sharply over the last week, so our heating is now on again. This afternoon I’d like to put away all the children’s summer clothes and get out all the winter ones. It’s a job I hate doing when they are with me because they jump on and mess up the tidy piles of folded clothes to be put away, and when they see their old favourites that are now too small they get very upset when I put them in the “to be given away” box!

Good news - we have finally solved Pauline’s sleep problem! Last Wednesday I made her up a bed in Kevin’s room with the brand new mattress, quilt and sheets that P. bought for her ages ago. We also plugged in a tiny night light and the two of them have been sleeping perfectly well ever since. I was sure that she was lonely and felt isolated from the rest of us, but P. was convinced that she’s afraid of the dark, so we have found a compromise. A shame it took us so long though! It’s so much nicer having both of them downstairs with us and they don’t even talk much after lights out because they are usually so tired from their day at school that they fall asleep very quickly. So the big upstairs room is a playroom again. We are all feeling more human now.

Kevin has brand new, bright yellow gumboots, which he insisted on wearing to school for two days, even though it wasn’t wet!

I had to keep Pauline at home on Thursday and Friday, as her cold and the lack of sleep had made her tired and pale. Clément came for lunch on the Friday, so Pauline and I made novelty chips. I cut very thin slices of potato and we used my cookie-cutters to make dog-, train-, house-, star- and heart-shaped chips. The children loved them (P. and I ate the odd-shaped leftover bits) and they must have made an impression on Clément, because his mother told me this morning he talked about them all weekend!

Steph and Belette came for lunch on Saturday, bringing presents for the children as usual, including a Mickey Mouse shampoo! I made leek quiche for the entrée, whole roasted rascasse (my dictionary gives “scorpion fish”!) with sweet Indian rice and aloo gobi, then home-made ginger ice cream and almond biscuits for dessert. It was extremely delicious of course!

Thursday night was my women’s group and the book we are studying this year is called “Siblings Without Rivalry”. The aim is to help our children get along and the first group exercise we did was to take turns in telling the others about our own sibling relationships. Some of the stories were quite harrowing, as most of the women come from relatively large families and told sad stories about bullying older brothers, jealous sisters, illness and death, and even conflicts which have led to present day estrangements. I was literally the only one who only took two minutes and said simply that I had a very happy childhood, got on extremely well with my brother and still do! The others jokingly accused me of having blocked out some horrible events from my memory! It was quite an eye-opener to see what some of my friends have been through.

This afternoon I took Kevin to the ophthalmologist for his 6 month eye check. Still no change, he keeps the same glasses for now. He may well grow out of the long-sightedness at around 12 or 13 years of age. I still have to put those horrible pupil-dilating eyedrops in his eyes an hour before the appointment. He kicks and screams and really hates it. The doctor explained to him that if only he would look at the picture charts and answer the questions, he wouldn’t need to have the drops. But, you know Kevin, he remains completely mute with all doctors and most adults, in fact.

Last Monday I had to send Pauline to school (maternelle) with some apples and Méemée’s old hand-operated mouli, as the planned activity was for the children to make stewed apple purée. She had a great time and told us all about how she turned the handle of the mouli and she said she ate some and it tasted good (she never eats it at home of course).

At dinner one day she suddenly started reciting a little story with finger actions which I had already seen the teacher do one day. With her left hand in a fist and thumb tucked inside, she knocked on it with her right hand, saying “Toc toc toc! Monsieur Pouce, es-tu là?” in a high-pitched voice. Then “NON, JE DORS!”, in a loud, growly voice. Then she threw her arms wide and growled, to scare us. That’s all she can remember for now, but the story carries on from there, using gentle persuasion and finally Mr Pouce does emerge in a good mood.

She does another one where she claps her two hands together and then folds them into bird or butterfly wings, which fly away. It’s utterly charming, so I hope to catch on her video one day.

Kevin continues to say little about school! He does however mention all playground incidents where someone bumps into him or “hurts” him! Pauline usually chips in with “Oui, moi aussi”!

Pauline is still giving us many broken nights so I’m thinking of seeing the child psychologist we saw with Kevin a few months ago. She doesn’t really seem upset when she wakes up in the night, although she says she’s afraid. I honestly believe it has become a habit and she knows that her Daddy will give her cuddles on the sofa before he puts her back to bed. I’m trying to persuade him that we have to be severe about it. Give her an inch and she takes a mile!

Last weekend we were invited to a baptism and I was intending to take Kevin only, as P. didn’t want to go and I wasn’t keen on taking Pauline as she throws so many tantrums with me these days. But in the end I did take her because Kevin was quite sick all day with a 39° temperature. It only lasted 24 hours though, and he was fine by Monday morning.

The church service started at 5.30 pm and I was afraid Pauline might be a bit tired and grumpy. But she was amazingly well-behaved! I think she was quite intimidated by being in the church, it was a lovely old one with many wooden beams and stained glass windows. There were lots of other small children running around and making a noise, but she stayed on my knee and looked around with big eyes. She loved looking at the big candles, wanted to blow them out and asked when the birthday cake was coming! She was quite intrigued by the very black, African priest, as were most of the white, middle class congregation, I think! During the hymns she swayed back and forth and sang “La la la” almost in tune. It lasted an hour and a half but the time just flew by.

Then we all went to Anne-Noëlle’s house for a buffet supper. I took my famous little shrimp scones with herb butter and a banana & orange cake. Pauline was too excited to eat much, in fact she and most of the children stayed upstairs in Maÿlis’ bedroom, playing with her and Solène’s toys. We didn’t go home until 9.30 pm.